Letter to a (Real Life) Hurting Pastor

By Chris Surber

Chris Surber is the Pastor of Cypress Chapel Christian Church in Suffolk, VA. He is also a religion columnist for the Suffolk News Herald.


Of all the communication I receive in response to my writing ministry, among my favorites are those from fellow pastors. Even prior to entering full time ministry I was sympathetic to the unique challenges and pressures that pastors face. As one commentator put it, “People expect the clergy to have the grace of a swan, the friendliness of a sparrow, the strength of an eagle and the night hours of an owl—and some people expect such a bird to live on the food of a canary.”

I recently received the following email from a man who signed his email only as "Hurting Pastor." “I am a local pastor. I have been serving a church for 10 years faithfully. During these years, I have never had an appreciation service of any kind. I know it is biblical for the church to do this for their pastor in love. Is there ever a time when this should be preached? I have addressed this matter with my leadership team. Should I just teach on this matter from the pulpit? What do you think?”

What should a pastor do when he feels underappreciated? Sadly, this man’s story is not exceptional. It isn’t hard to find real-life accounts of hurting pastors. Many reports suggest that pastoral tenure is at an all-time low. Pastors stay shorter and look harder for bigger and better opportunities. This is often attributed to excessively ambitious clergy. That may be true in some cases.  However, is it not possible that in at least as many cases pastors are hurting more than church culture allows them to admit? Perhaps churches could use training on the unique challenges placed upon pastors and their families. Here is the core of what I wrote back to Rev. Hurting Pastor:

1. Pastor, your first and deepest "appreciation" comes from the Lord.

We really do have to learn to rest in Christ and find our value and purpose in being a child of God, not a servant of the Kingdom. There is a difference. It’s easy to think that being a pastor is what we are, but it’s not. It’s our vocation in the Kingdom. It’s what we do. We are foremost a child of God, just like everyone we serve.

2. Pastor, we all feel similar struggles to varying extents.

We have to learn to "get life" from multiple sources so we don't dry out. I write a weekly column in a newspaper, contribute to various ministry-related websites, and write books and tracts. I get life from these activities. They help me stay focused and refreshed in the sometimes arid times of pastoral life. While you may not consider yourself a writer, consider a blog—even blog as "hurting pastor" anonymously—and you might be surprised the impact you could have on other pastors wading through the often mucky waters of pastoral life.

3. Pastor, don't stop being who God created you to be. 

Invest in your interests outside of ministry. Like many pastors, I’m guilty of investing into precious few activities that are not directly related to my work in the local church. Do you have an interest in travel? Incorporate your pastoral life into a trip to visit a missionary your church supports. I’m presently planning just such a trip with my wife and tribe of kids going along.

4. Pastor, we are servants of the King and His Kingdom, but we are not without value ourselves.

Even a slave should have his needs met. Churches will unwittingly take as much life from a pastor as he is willing to give. People are needy, but we are people, too. Don't forget self-care. You and I are among colleagues who seldom seek health care or spiritual care for ourselves. It doesn’t honor God to focus so much on others that we let ourselves burn out.   

5. Pastor, teach on the subject of pastoral care, but be careful how you do it.

Early in ministry, a mentor advised me wisely to take care every sermon is a "we" thing, not a "you" thing. A sermon titled, "You chumps don't know how to care for a pastor to save your life” is probably not a good idea and won’t be effective. Whereas a series of sermons on the topic of community care in the Church, which includes teaching on pastoral care and concerns, may be effective. Educate them on this subject with some degree of subtlety for, as most pastors have discerned, it’s altogether too easy to look self-serving in the pastorate.

Highlight biblical passages where it is seems obvious that a person’s faith is connected to how they think about the church and its leaders. Look at the example in Acts 16 of the Philippian jailer: "At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized." (Acts 16:33 NIV84)  After he received faith, he cared for the Lord's servants. Perhaps bring in a guest speaker to talk on this subject. It is not selfish to help the body of Christ understand that healthy pastors make for healthier churches. Pastoral health is good for the Kingdom and therefore it matters.

While the pastoral journey is a long and arduous pilgrimage, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Pastors do get a lot of blame they don’t deserve and little of the credit they do deserve. We need to care for ourselves, and the body needs to appreciate the work of their pastor.  However, at the end of the day, all of the glory belongs to the Lord. Pastor, sincerely, earnestly, cast your cares upon Him (Matthew 11:28-30).

Should You Start a Chapter of the Boring Preacher's Club?

A recent Wall Street Journal (July 19, 2012) article highlighted the Dull Men's Club of Pembroke, Mass.—a weekly gathering of older fellows which celebrates their mutual…well, dullness.

The story cited one member "who knows all the U.S. presidents' middle names and can recite the alphabet backward. Another member, Frank Tobin, might bring a picture of an antique car and award a $2 bill to whoever guesses the make and model. Attendees have discussed hummingbirds and studied park benches around the world. They debated raking leaves versus letting them lie.

"Believe it or not, we spent two and a half meetings on which way to put toilet paper on the roll, over or under," says another regular, Ken Girten, a 76-year-old retired banker. "It was pretty much tied."

In a culture obsessed with activity and extremes, it's not surprising that some turn—slowly, of course—to the more mundane. "We're all supposed to be busy, busy, busy, but what's wrong with being ordinary?" says Leland Carlson, a retired tax attorney in Chappell, Neb., who runs the national Dull Men's Club website—a loosely organized online community for "good citizens who are not setting the world on fire," and which inspired the Pembroke club. The club, which started in the 1990s, now has 5,000 members, up from 3,000 five years ago.

Which got me thinking about the church…Surely in the midst of booming megachurches with their crackling-good communicators, there must be a place left for the ordinary. Did I hear someone say "Boring Preacher's Club"?

The Boring Preacher's Club never would meet at Starbucks—too trendy. More likely, it would gather at Cracker Barrel. While the Dull Men's Club has a T-shirt with the slogan "Dull but Never Boring," I don't think the Dull Preacher's Club would want to spend money on shirts. Besides, a little bit of boring can build character.

Imagine the fun you could have at the weekly meeting of the Boring Preacher's Club:

• Reciting the list of the kings of Israel—backward

• Analyzing the various types of seeds grown in first century Israel as a way to liven up sermons on the Parable of the Sower

• Discussing the positive aspects of the elder brother in the Parable of the Prodigal Son

• Reviewing the pros and cons of the Dewey Decimal System vs. the Library of Congress indexing system for the pastor's library

•  Reminiscing about favorite church history lectures from seminary days

• Recalling the joys of old-fashioned typewriters

• Wondering whatever happened to the Jebusites

Let me know if you decide to start your own chapter of the Dull Preacher's Club. I might decide to join—when I find the time to be bored.

怕老婆

某大公司的主管十分怕老婆，但很想知道是不是每個男人都一樣，

於是有一天集合公司內所有已婚男士；

「覺得自己怕老婆的人站到左邊，覺得自己不怕老婆的人站到右邊。」

之後只見一陣騷動，大部分人都去左邊，只有一個去右邊，還有兩個站在原地不動。

他首先問第一個站在原地不動的人：「為什麼你站著不動？」

答道：「我老婆交代過我，若公司中有分派系時，要保持中立，那一邊都不要參加，所以我站在中間。」

他再問第二個站在原地不! 動的人：「你又為什麼站著不動？」答道：「我老婆說凡事不可自己做決定，要先問她才算，

我可不可以先打個電話給她呀？」

這時眾人皆以敬佩的眼光投向獨自站到右邊的那位男士，並請他發表感言，他就說：「我老婆說人多的地方不要去。」
----------------------------------------------------

哈哈哈！真好笑！這些人幹嘛那麼怕老婆啊！真受不了...............

But....我老婆說：「看到好笑的笑話要轉寄給大家！」

幸福的台階

幸福有時候只需要一個台階

那年，她剛剛25歲，鮮活水嫩的青春襯著，人如綻放在水中的白蓮花。唯一的不足是個子太矮，穿上高跟鞋也不過 一米 五多點兒，卻心高氣傲地非要嫁個條件好的。 是相親認識的他，180cm 的個頭，魁梧挺拔，劍眉朗目，她第一眼便喜歡上了。 隔著一張桌子坐著，卻低著頭不敢看他，兩隻手反覆撫弄衣角，心像揣了免子，左衝右撞，心跳如鼓。 2個人馬上看對眼就愛上了，日子如同蜜裡調油，恨不得24小時都黏在一起。 兩個人拉著手去逛街，樓下的大爺眼花，有一次見了他就問：「送孩子上學啊？」 他鎮定自若地應著，卻拉她一直跑出好遠，才憋不住笑出來。 他沒有大房子，她也心甘情願地嫁了他.....拍結婚照時，兩個人站在一起，她還不及他的肩膀。 她有些難為情，他笑，沒說她矮，卻自嘲是不是自己太高了？攝影師把他們帶到有台階的背景前，指著他說：「你往下站一個台階。」 他下了一個台階，她從後面環住他的腰，頭靠在他的肩上，附在他耳邊悄聲說：「你看，你下個台階我們的心就在同一個高度上了。」 結婚後的日子就像漲了潮的海水...各自繁忙的工作、沒完沒了的家務、孩子的奶瓶尿布、數不盡的瑣事，一浪接著一浪洶湧而來，讓人措手不及。 漸漸地便有了矛盾和爭吵，有了哭鬧和糾纏。 第一次吵架，她任性地摔門而去，走到外面才發現無處可去。只好又折回來，躲在樓梯口，聽著他慌慌張張地跑下來，聽聲音就能判斷出，他一次跳了2個台階。 最後一級台階，他踩空了，整個人撞在欄杆上，「哎喲哎喲」地叫。 她看著他的狼狽樣，終於沒忍住，捂嘴笑著從樓梯口跑出來。她伸手去拉他，卻被他用力一拽，跌進他的懷裡。 他捏捏她的鼻子說：「以後再吵架，記住也不要走遠，就躲在樓梯口，等我來找妳。」 她被他牽著手回家，心想，真好啊！連吵架都這麼有滋有味的。 第2次吵架是在街上，為買一件什麼東西，一個堅持要買、一個堅持不要買，爭著爭著她就惱了，摔手就走。 走了幾步後躲進一家超市，從櫥窗裡觀察他的動靜。以為他會追過來，卻沒有。他在原地待了幾分鐘後，就若無其事地走了。她又氣又恨，懷著一腔怒火回家，推開門，他雙腿蹺在茶几上

看電視。看見她回來，仍然若無其事地招呼她：「回來了，等你一起吃飯呢。」

他攬著她的腰去餐廳，挨個揭開盤子上的蓋，一桌子的菜都是她喜歡吃的。

她一邊把紅燒雞翅咂得滿嘴流油，一邊憤怒地質問他：「為什麼不追我就自己回來了？」

他說：「你沒有帶家裡的鑰匙，我怕萬一你先回來了進不了門；又怕你回來餓，就先做了飯，我這可都下了兩個台階了，不知道能否跟大小姐站齊了？」

她撲哧就笑了，所有的不快全都煙消雲散。

這樣的吵鬧不斷地發生，終於有了最凶的一次。

他打牌一夜未歸，孩子又碰上發了高燒，給他打電話，關機。

她一個人帶孩子去了醫院，第二天早上他一進門，她窩了一肚子的火霹靂啪啦地就爆發了……

這一次是他離開了，他說吵來吵去，他累了，收拾了東西，自己搬到單位的宿舍裡去住，留下她一個人，面對著冰冷而狼藉的家，心涼如水。

想到以前每次吵架都是他百般勸慰，主動下台階跟她求和，現在，他終於厭倦了，愛情走到了盡頭，他再也不肯努力去找台階了。

那天晚上，她輾轉難眠，無聊中打開相冊，第一頁就是他們的結婚照。她的頭親密地靠在他的肩上，兩張笑臉像花一樣綻放著。從照片上看不出她比他矮那麼多，可是她知道，他們之間還隔著一個台階。

她拿著那張照片，忽然想到，每次吵架都是他主動下台階，而她卻從未主動去上一個台階。

為什麼呢？難道有他的包容，就可以放縱自己的任性嗎？

婚姻是兩個人的，總是他一個人在下台階，距離當然越來越遠，心也會越來越遠。

其實，她上一個台階，也可以和他一樣高的啊！

她終於撥了他的電話，只響了一聲，他便接了。原來，他一直都在等她去上這個台階。

幸福有時候只需要一個台階.....

無論是他下來、還是你上去，只要兩個人的心在同一個高度和諧地振動，那就是幸福。

台階，其實說白一點就是先低頭，而這點說的簡單，做起來卻會讓某些人猶如上刀山下火海一般艱難。

人之所以不願意低頭大都是為了面子問題或覺得先低頭的人就輸了對方一截，怕對方會「軟土深掘」日後被對方吃的死死的。

所以，若發生爭執時，另一伴願意先下個台階低頭時，要了解對方可是鼓起很大的勇氣，所以請不要因為情緒而說些風涼話來打擊對方，以免將原本能和諧落幕的爭執又增添更多的風雨。

另外，低頭的人未必就是錯的人，在愛情上和對方低頭是一種愛的表現，若與對方爭執時，對方願意低頭請靜下心來感受一下對方的愛，也請珍惜這份愛，如此才能恩愛長久。

Mentor

《師友》，加拿大雕塑家，Richard Kramer

瑞士新研發！不吵架噴霧 夫妻一噴就恩愛？！

NOWnews.com 今日新聞網

2012年8月7日


夫婦、情侶之間難免發生爭執。瑞士蘇黎世大學研究人員開發一種含激素的鼻腔噴霧，幫助雙方停止爭吵或降低爭吵烈度，更友好地交流。

『挑起』爭執
根據中國新聞網報導，噴霧所含激素為催產素。這種激素由大腦自然分泌，可控制雌性哺乳動物乳汁分泌。先前研究結果顯示，催產素還可影響人的吸引力、信任和 信心。蘇黎世大學研究人員研究催產素如何影響爭執雙方的壓力和植物性神經系統。當一個人與他人起爭執時，植物性神經系統自動調節身體器官，致使心跳加速， 血壓升高。

研究人員徵募47對夫婦或同居一年以上的伴侶，讓每一對志願者選擇一個爭議話題，隨後噴5次催產素噴霧或者安慰劑。45分鐘後，每對志願者進入一個單獨房 間，開始討論爭議話題。研究物件年齡在20歲至50歲之間。研究人員全程拍攝，觀察志願者的表現，並多次用唾液棉簽檢測志願者唾液成分，查看神經系統如何 作用。

男女相反
結果顯示，與使用安慰劑的志願者相比，使用催產素噴霧的女性志願者更友好，較少苛刻待人，男性志願者更積極地參與對話。唾液檢測結果顯示，使用催產素噴霧 後，女性志願者的神經系統活躍度降低，男性志願者則增強。研究人員在發表於《社會認知與情感神經科學》雜志的論文中寫道，女性往往更頻繁地表現出苛刻行 為，男性容易『撤退』。在這項研究中，催產素可能促使女性靜默，男性變得積極。

美國加利福尼亞大學先前一項研究顯示，男性一天兩次吸入催產素噴霧，性慾明顯增強。研究人員計劃進一步研究催產素對爭執雙方的可能作用。

或不治本
英國《每日郵報》5日援引英國諾丁漢大學健康心理學教授卡維塔?維達拉的話報道，這項研究相當有意思，顯示催產素能夠降低女性在口角中情緒和生理激動程度，對男性的作用則相反。

維達拉說：『我們更明確催產素對女性的生物學意義，此外，研究資料顯示，它可能對男性也有顯著效果，但並不清楚這種情緒增強對男性而言是否總起到正面作 用。可以肯定的是，它會讓男性在爭執中表現得更主動。』維達拉說，催產素噴霧可能只造成雙方的短期改變，幫助降低爭執烈度，但是否有助於解決爭執起源尚不 清楚。

內在的平靜

內在的平靜
羅天虹












世上最能吸引人的人一般都流露著一鼓內在的平靜.

如何可以確保內心的平靜？ Gary Egeberg 提出十個原側：

1) 循環性 - 要記得平靜可以是有循環性的。不一定是靜止的。

2) 完全無痛？目的不能是完全無痛的心景。相反，我們應接受痛楚，戰勝痛苦。內心平靜不等於完全無痛。

3) 程度深淺 - 平靜是有程度上的深淺的.

4) 努力而為 - 要回歸平靜，我們整個人的意志， 情緒， 身體 與心靈都必須參與努力.

5) 需要時間 - 重建平靜是需要時間的.

6) 積極的思想 - 需要栽培積極的思想. 消極意識可以抵消我們內心的平穩.

7) 不回頭，不憂慮 - 頻頻回顧過去或憂慮將來是內心平靜的障礙.

8) 不要太認真 - 對人生太認真只會握殺內心的平安.

9) 拒絕完美主義 - 完美主義是內心平靜的毒物, 只有接納自己的 暇癡才可以從中得釋.

10) 意志和能力 - 要重獲內心的平穩就必須正視自己的意志和能力.

Reclaiming our inner power and becoming inner-referenced restores inner peace to us.

平靜是一種心景, 內心情況，需要操練;
平靜不等於無痛; 它不是一種免疫狀態.
平靜是外加的, 也是內在的力量.

六成人對父母講金不講心

2012年06月11日

你會用甚麼方式向父母表達愛意？香港基督教女青年會家庭健康促進中心於3至4月訪問逾1,500名市民，其中抽取「三代同堂」約 900人分析，結果發現六成人對父母「講金不講心」，傾向以物質向父母表達愛意，首三種方法是關懷慰問(71.8%)、共度特別日子(67.8%)及給家 用/零用錢(52.6%)。但對子女多從心靈表達，包括讚賞鼓勵(79.2%)、擁抱/輕吻(74.1%)及關懷慰問(65.6%)。

另外，81.1%人每日向子女傳情達意，但父母則只有17.2%。該中心督導主任李雯珊指，香港家庭傾向以子女為核心是不健康現象，子女會誤以為自己才是 最重要而變得自我中心。她建議港人多陪伴及關懷父母，夫婦間亦應添加心思，令子女學懂尊重家人，以建立一個良好家庭系統。

人生四大不幸

炒股炒到做股東
 (短炒遭套牢，被長線投資。)

溝女溝到做老公
 (廣東話「溝女」即玩耍性質追女孩子，但情場浪子無法脫身，被成家立室。)

練功練著法輪功
(稍懂中國國情的人都明白，不贅。)

談情遇上陳振聰
 (已故華懋主席龔如心生前與面首陳振聰的肉麻情話，死後還要被陳在庭上巨細無遺披露，作為爭產籌碼；女人活著有眼無珠做鬼也不得安寧，你說慘不慘？)



不錯，在香港「陳振聰」三個字幾已成為貪婪無恥的代名詞，不論貧富智愚，罕有對陳振聰有好感者，罵陳振聰是最安全、最易令初相識者有共鳴的社交話題。

首先，陳振聰的爭產對手是華懋慈善基金，縱使有人懷疑這基金會否全數將千億遺產用於慈善，但無人相信陳振聰贏得巨額遺產後，撥款幫助本港和內地貧民的數額會比華懋多。簡單地說，就是陳某爭產損害公眾利益，住豪宅坐名車的陳振聰往「乞兒砵裏搶飯吃」。

另外，大家也看不過眼一個以按摩討富婆歡心的風水師，能掌管華懋千億商業王國，因為覺得陳的學歷和經驗都不匹配，而且，認為肥胖哨牙的陳振聰，其實連當一個富婆小白臉也不夠資格。

因此，自陳振聰爭產2010年1月一審敗訴起，每有不利陳振聰的新聞，都吸引港人追看，包括上訴失敗、 被稅務局追巨額欠稅、欠華懋慈善基金巨額訟費、遭律政司控以偽造遺囑等，成為傳媒歷久不衰的題材。有關陳被控偽造遺囑的刑事訴訟，由5月14日起在東區法 院作預審，由於只是初級偵訊，未能這麼快判定陳會否罪成入獄，不過，據悉有大報已部署重兵採訪，作重點報道。

May 9, 2012 News

3,000-year-old artifacts reveal history behind biblical David and Goliath

 

http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/08/11605245-3000-year-old-artifacts-reveal-history-behind-biblical-david-and-goliath?lite

Hebrew University of Jerusalem

Yosef Garfinkel, an archaeologist at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, shows off an ark, or stone shrine model, that was found during excavations at Khirbet Qeiyafa, an ancient settlement southwest of Jerusalem.

By Alan Boyle

An archaeological dig near Goliath's biblical hometown has yielded evidence of Judean religious practices 3,000 years ago, pointing up fresh historical connections to the stories of King David and King Solomon.
"We have a city with a population relating to the Kingdom of Judah," Yosef Garfinkel, an archaeologist at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, told me today. "This is totally different from Philistine, Canaanite or the cult in the Kingdom of Israel."

The site, known today as Khirbet Qeiyafa, is about 20 miles (30 kilometers) southwest of Jerusalem, on top of a hill overlooking the Valley of Elah. For the past five years, Garfinkel and his colleagues have been excavating the ruins of a fortified city there, situated across from what was once the Philistine city of Gath. In the Bible, the giant Goliath came out from Gath to face the Israelites, and was smitten by a rock hurled from David's sling.

Garfinkel can't vouch for the story of Goliath, but he says the weapons, the cult items and even the animal bones found around Khirbet Qeiyafa support his view that the settlement was a key military outpost for the historical House of David, riven by conflict. "There was something here quite military and quite aggressive," he said. "It was not a peaceful village."

Based on radiocarbon dating of burned olive pits found at the site, archaeologists believe the ancient city lasted for only 40 years, from 1020 to 980 B.C., before it was destroyed. Some skeptics have suggested that Khirbet Qeiyafa was just another Canaanite settlement, and that David was at best a minor chieftain, or perhaps a folkloric figure like Robin Hood. But Garfinkel said the items found at the site strengthen the connection to King David and the religious practices specified in the Bible.

"Over the years, thousands of animal bones were found, including sheep, goats and cattle, but no pigs," he said in a news release from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. "Now we uncovered three cultic rooms, with various cultic paraphernalia, but not even one human or animal figurine was found. This suggest that the population on Khirbet Qeiyafa observed two biblical bans — on pork and on graven images — and thus practiced a different cult from that of the Canaanites or the Philistines."

Garfinkel told me that the absence of human imagery was peculiar to the Judeans. "In the northern Kingdom of Israel, you find human representations," he said.

Hebrew University of Jerusalem

One of the cultic standing stones can be seen in this picture of the Khirbet Qeiyafa site.

Hebrew University of Jerusalem

This basalt altar was found during excavations at Khirbet Qeiyafa.

Hebrew University of Jerusalem

A decorated clay shrine model was found at the Khirbet Qeiyafa site.

The cult objects included five standing stones, two basalt altars, two pottery libation vessels and two portable shrines. Garfinkel said the shrines reflected a Mesopotamian architectural style that went back centuries before the era of King David, and probably inspired the look of the palace built by Solomon, David's son. "It seems that Solomon didn't want to be Canaanite and took a different model from Mesopotamia," Garfinkel told me.

The shrines are boxlike containers made of stone or clay. "I think they were called in Hebrew 'Aron,'" Garfinkel wrote in an email. "This had been translated into English as 'ark' and became a mystic artifact. I think that the Hebrew name was just a simple technical term: a box for keeping god symbols."

Such shrines were probably similar in look to the "Ark of God" highlighted in the Bible as well as in such movies as "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

The clay shrine has an intricate facade, featuring two guardian lions, pillars and birds standing on the roof. The stone shrine was painted red, and its facade is decorated with characteristic triglyph symbols as well as a triple-recessed doorway in front. Garfinkel said the Bible may have referred to those architectural features in its description of Solomon's palace. The technical term usually translated as referring to pillars ("Slaot") may actually be talking about triglyphs, while another term that was thought to refer to windows ("Sequfim")  might instead refer to the doorways.

"Now you can see by the model that you have triglyphs at the roof, and you have recessed doorways," Garfinkel said. Such features are also mentioned in biblical references to King Solomon's temple, which was built decades after the age that gave rise to the shrines found at Khirbet Qeiyafa.

Will these finds settle the debate over the historical David? Garfinkel would like to think so. "Various suggestions that completely deny the biblical tradition regarding King David and argue that he was a mythological figure, or just a leader of a small tribe, are now shown to be wrong," he said in today's news release.

But The Times of Israel quoted Bar-Ilan University's Aren Maeir, who's in charge of the dig at Gath, as saying the discoveries don't provide any dramatic new evidence for either side in the debate. For example, the fact that the clay shrine was decorated with lions and birds undercuts Garfinkel's claim that no graven images were found at the site. The Israeli newspaper Haaretz quoted another expert, Tel Aviv University's Nadav Na'aman, as saying that the Canaanites, like the Judeans, observed a ban on eating pork.

Maeir said the distinctions between the various peoples mentioned in the Bible — including David's Israelites and Goliath's Philistines — were "fuzzier than the way they are often described."

"There's no question that this is a very important site, but what exactly it was — there is still disagreement about that," Maeir said. In a blog posting, Maeir said "what is clearly missing is a close interface with mainstream biblical and [Ancient Near East] textual scholars."

How to go faster?--Lesson I learned in a swimming pool

Recently I am learning how to swim freestyle by You-Tube. Some swimmers are so effortless and last so long. They are fast and efficient in the water. And some are much slower and expend so much energy without going very far. I wonder why. How do I go faster? As I did some research on the web, I learned that there are two ways to swim faster:

• increase power
• reduce water resistance

Because the power needed to overcome resistance increases with the third power of the velocity, the first option is not really effective. To increase velocity by 10%, one would need to increase the power by more than 30%.

And there are three physical principles to reduce drag in swimming:

1. Keep the body as horizontal as possible.

If the body is not horizontal but even slightly inclined, the area it offers to drag is much higher, leading to higher resistance. An easy way to stay horizontal is to lean forward and position the head straight in the extension of the spine. In this position the eyes are directed straight downward and the head is more immersed (therefore total immersion).

2. Reduce the breadth as much as possible.

At the water surface, resistance is proportional to the breadth of the body. Lying flat on the chest in freestyle exposes the breadth of the body to the water. Rolling on the side reduces the breadth and the resistance. In freestyle, one should roll from one side to the other in the stroke and glide on the side as much as possible. When taking breaths, one should take them as little as possible; for beginners it is good to breathe every three strokes and the more trained you are the more strokes in between each breath.

3. Extended arms.

The longer you can glide with the extended arm the less wave resistance. This is also called quadrant front swimming.

As I practice these principles in the swimming pool, I feel the reduction of the drag and I am less tired and also faster. It suddenly dawns on me that the same principle is probably true in everyday life and in the spiritual world.

To go faster, there are two possible ways:

• increase power and try harder
• reduce resistance and the negative energy

Our natural tendency is to increase the effort and try harder. But just like in swimming, it will take more power to overcome resistance as we go faster (increasing the velocity.)

1. In church ministry, when a team that is not united with lots of negative energy, it will take more power to overcome it as the church grows bigger and goes faster. Thus, the key to go faster is not increasing power, but to reduce the resistance. Get the team on the same page; build deeper relationships and increase trust. Reduce the negative energy among the team. The church will grow faster with relatively little effort. If we don't find ways to reduce the conflicts, it will take much of our energy to take even a step forward.

2. At home and in family relationships, our tendency is to bury or to ignore the hurt and negatives. It is especially true in the Chinese culture. It won't matter how much effort we spend in building strong family relationships, if the negative energy is not reduced. The time and effort will go in waste.

3. Personal growth is the same. In my thirties, I dealt with the issues of identity. What is my center? Who am I? In my forties, I dealt with the issues of relationships at home and at church. In my fifties, I deal with the issues in the ministry. Who are my teammates? What am I called to do in the team? Reducing resistance means honestly dealing with the inner strongholds and sins. It is only when I am healthy and walk in the light that I have the freedom and efficiency to grow.

This is the truth I learn in a swimming pool.

Girl Born Without Hands Wins Penmanship

April 20, 2012

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/47118899/ns/today-good_news/

WEST MIFFLIN, Pa. — A Pittsburgh-area girl born without hands has won a penmanship award — and $1,000 — from a company that publishes language arts and reading textbooks.

Zaner-Bloser Inc. recognized 7-year-old Annie Clark at Wilson Christian Academy in West Mifflin on Wednesday with its first-ever Nicholas Maxim Award.
Nicholas was a Maine fifth-grader born without hands or lower arms who entered the company's penmanship contest last year. His work impressed judges enough that they created a new category for students with disabilities.

After the ceremony Wednesday, Clark demonstrated her ability to write by manipulating a pencil between her forearms. Asked whether she was nervous about the attention, the girl said, "Not really, but kind of."
The girl's parents, Tom and Mary Ellen Clark, have nine children — three biological and six adopted from China, including Annie. Annie is one of four of the adoptees who have disabilities that affect their hands or arms. The Clarks also have an adopted child, Alyssa, 18, and a biological daughter, Abbey, 21, with Down syndrome.
 
"Each time, we weren't looking to adopt a special-needs child, but that is what happened," said Mary Ellen Clark, 48, of McKeesport. "This was the family God wanted for us."
Annie has learned to paint, draw and color. She also swims, dresses, eats meals and opens cans of soda by herself, and uses her iPod touch and computers without assistance. She hopes to someday write books about animals.
  
"She's an amazing little girl," said Tom Clark, 49, who owns an automotive dealership. "It's a shame because society places so many rules on how people should look, but the minds of these kids are phenomenal."
Mary Ellen Clark hopes the award encourages her daughter "that she can do anything."

Checkmate?

“The King is the most important piece. When he is trapped, his whole army loses. The King can move one square in any direction. The main goal of chess is to checkmate your opponent’s King. The King is not actually captured and removed from the board like other pieces. But if the King is attacked (‘checked’) and threatened with capture, it must get out of check immediately. If there is no way to get out of check, the position is a ‘checkmate,’ and the side that is checkmated loses.”

We all know what the game of chess involves. Now there used to be a painting in the Louvre art museum called "Checkmate", painted by Friedrich Moritz August Retzsch. It is now in private hands after being sold at Christie’s in 1999. This painting depicts 2 chess players, one is satan whom appears arrogantly confident, and the other player is a man who looks forlorn. If satan wins, he gets the man's soul.

According to legend, a chess champion visited the museum once and after studying the painting, noticed that the arrangement of the chess pieces were incorrect. According to him, the devil who thought he was winning, was in fact not winning. The man, who thought he was losing, was winning, because according to the pieces left on the chessboard, his king had one more move left, which would make him the winner of the game!

He called the curator and they determined that the title didn’t fit the scene because the forlorn-looking player actually has the ability to defeat his opponent, though he obviously doesn’t realize it. The painting is a lie. His king can still make another move!

- A little boy with two fishes and a few loafs of bread, sees that thousands of people needs food. It looks like checkmate, but it is a lie, our King has another move left! They collected twelve baskets of leftovers afterwards!

- Daniel gets thrown into a lion’s den full of hungry lions. It looks like checkmate, but it is a lie, our King has another move left! 

- The woman by the well is about to be killed by angry men with stones. It looks like checkmate, but it is a lie, our King has another move left! He tells her to go and not sin anymore. 

- The murderer next to Jesus on the cross thought it was the end, yet he still repented. It looks like checkmate, but it is a lie, because the King has a move left and says: Today you will be in Paradise with me.

- On Good Friday the people were screaming: Crucify Him! They mocked and hit Him, spit and tortured Him and nailed Him to the cross. They said He could save others, but not Himself. It is over. Checkmate. Satan smiles as everybody leaves thinking God is dead. But Jesus still has a move left! Come Sunday and Jesus rose from the dead! Our King had another move left!

- We think our country is a mess. Farm murders and violence everywhere. People lose their jobs, marriages gets destroyed, moral values are non-existent. You get scared and feel lost. You are looking for direction but end up on the wrong path. It looks like checkmate, but it is a lie, do not fear, the game is not over.

Our King still has one move left! Our lives and future are in His hands. You have been bought with His blood - a very expensive price, and received amazing grace.

1 Peter 2:24-25 …who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

*I heard this story and after doing some investigation, I found that the original story was published in a chess magazine in 1898/99. Various sermons were based on it afterwards.

中國婚前性行為十八年增加三成至 71.4% 2012

【明報專訊】內地最近有調查發現，超過70％受訪青年在婚前已發生性行為，與1994年的同類型調查相比，比例上升了30％。專家稱，中國的婚前性行為比例在18年間上升3成，這個增幅在西方國家起碼要用一兩百年時間才有。

《法制晚報》報道，中央理論刊物《求是》旗下的《小康》昨日發表「中國人性健康感受」調查結果。調查由《小康》和清華大學在今年3月聯合進行，共訪問了1013名男女，大部分受訪者年齡介乎20至39歲、具大學以上的學歷。
18年增30% 「如外國百年」
調查發現，71.4％受訪者稱在婚前已發生性行為，43.1％受訪者贊同婚前性行為，只有24.6％表示不認同。據早前的同類型調查顯示，中國人在 1989年的婚前性行為比例是15％，1994年升到40％以上，這次調查結果再上升30%至71.4％。內地社會學家李銀河認為，婚前性行為比例出現這 種增幅，在其他國家是經歷一兩百年時間的。
對於調查結果，北京大學醫學心理學博士甄宏麗分析說，中國男女法定結婚年齡分別是22歲和20歲，加上現在流行晚婚（即遲於法定婚齡三年及以上結婚），如果等到23歲或者25歲之後再發生性行為是很難的。
53.5％稱從未接受性教育
這次調查又發現，受訪者獲得性知識的3大主要渠道是「網絡」（24.5%）、「自己在實踐中逐漸摸索」（24.2％）和「讀書」（17.8%）。此外，53.5％受訪者稱「從來沒有接受過」性教育。

Christianity in Crisis: Follow Jesus, Leave the Church

By Andrew Sullivan

Newsweek
2012.04.02

Christianity has been destroyed by politics, priests, and get-rich evangelists. Ignore them, writes Andrew Sullivan, and embrace Him.

If you go to the second floor of the National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C., you’ll find a small room containing an 18th-century Bible whose pages are full of holes. They are carefully razor-cut empty spaces, so this was not an act of vandalism. It was, rather, a project begun by Thomas Jefferson when he was a mere 27 years old. Painstakingly removing those passages he thought reflected the actual teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, Jefferson literally cut and pasted them into a slimmer, different New Testament, and left behind the remnants (all on display until July 15). What did he edit out? He told us: “We must reduce our volume to the simple evangelists, select, even from them, the very words only of Jesus.” He removed what he felt were the “misconceptions” of Jesus’ followers, “expressing unintelligibly for others what they had not understood themselves.” And it wasn’t hard for him. He described the difference between the real Jesus and the evangelists’ embellishments as “diamonds” in a “dunghill,” glittering as “the most sublime and benevolent code of morals which has ever been offered to man.” Yes, he was calling vast parts of the Bible religious manure.

When we think of Jefferson as the great architect of the separation of church and state, this, perhaps, was what he meant by “church”: the purest, simplest, apolitical Christianity, purged of the agendas of those who had sought to use Jesus to advance their own power decades and centuries after Jesus’ death. If Jefferson’s greatest political legacy was the Declaration of Independence, this pure, precious moral teaching was his religious legacy. “I am a real Christian,” Jefferson insisted against the fundamentalists and clerics of his time. “That is to say, a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus.”

What were those doctrines? Not the supernatural claims that, fused with politics and power, gave successive generations wars, inquisitions, pogroms, reformations, and counter reformations. Jesus’ doctrines were the practical commandments, the truly radical ideas that immediately leap out in the simple stories he told and which he exemplified in everything he did. Not simply love one another, but love your enemy and forgive those who harm you; give up all material wealth; love the ineffable Being behind all things, and know that this Being is actually your truest Father, in whose image you were made. Above all: give up power over others, because power, if it is to be effective, ultimately requires the threat of violence, and violence is incompatible with the total acceptance and love of all other human beings that is at the sacred heart of Jesus’ teaching. That’s why, in his final apolitical act, Jesus never defended his innocence at trial, never resisted his crucifixion, and even turned to those nailing his hands to the wood on the cross and forgave them, and loved them.

Politicized Faith

Whether or not you believe, as I do, in Jesus’ divinity and resurrection—and in the importance of celebrating both on Easter Sunday—Jefferson’s point is crucially important. Because it was Jesus’ point. What does it matter how strictly you proclaim your belief in various doctrines if you do not live as these doctrines demand? What is politics if not a dangerous temptation toward controlling others rather than reforming oneself? If we return to what Jesus actually asked us to do and to be—rather than the unknowable intricacies of what we believe he was—he actually emerges more powerfully and more purely.

Brooks Kraft / Corbis

And more intensely relevant to our times. Jefferson’s vision of a simpler, purer, apolitical Christianity couldn’t be further from the 21st-century American reality. We inhabit a polity now saturated with religion. On one side, the Republican base is made up of evangelical Protestants who believe that religion must consume and influence every aspect of public life. On the other side, the last Democratic primary had candidates profess their faith in public forums, and more recently President Obama appeared at the National Prayer Breakfast, invoking Jesus to defend his plan for universal health care. The crisis of Christianity is perhaps best captured in the new meaning of the word “secular.” It once meant belief in separating the spheres of faith and politics; it now means, for many, simply atheism. The ability to be faithful in a religious space and reasonable in a political one has atrophied before our eyes.

Organized Religion in Decline

Meanwhile, organized religion itself is in trouble. The Catholic Church’s hierarchy lost much of its authority over the American flock with the unilateral prohibition of the pill in 1968 by Pope Paul VI. But in the last decade, whatever shred of moral authority that remained has evaporated. The hierarchy was exposed as enabling, and then covering up, an international conspiracy to abuse and rape countless youths and children. I don’t know what greater indictment of a church’s authority there can be—except the refusal, even now, of the entire leadership to face their responsibility and resign. Instead, they obsess about others’ sex lives, about who is entitled to civil marriage, and about who pays for birth control in health insurance. Inequality, poverty, even the torture institutionalized by the government after 9/11: these issues attract far less of their public attention.

For their part, the mainline Protestant churches, which long promoted religious moderation, have rapidly declined in the past 50 years. Evangelical Protestantism has stepped into the vacuum, but it has serious defects of its own. As New York Times columnist Ross Douthat explores in his unsparing new book, Bad Religion: How We Became a Nation of Heretics, many suburban evangelicals embrace a gospel of prosperity, which teaches that living a Christian life will make you successful and rich. Others defend a rigid biblical literalism, adamantly wishing away a century and a half of scholarship that has clearly shown that the canonized Gospels were written decades after Jesus’ ministry, and are copies of copies of stories told by those with fallible memory. Still others insist that the earth is merely 6,000 years old—something we now know by the light of reason and science is simply untrue. And what group of Americans have pollsters found to be most supportive of torturing terror suspects? Evangelical Christians. Something has gone very wrong. These are impulses born of panic in the face of modernity, and fear before an amorphous “other.” This version of Christianity could not contrast more strongly with Jesus’ constant refrain: “Be not afraid.” It would make Jefferson shudder.

It would also, one imagines, baffle Jesus of Nazareth. The issues that Christianity obsesses over today simply do not appear in either Jefferson’s or the original New Testament. Jesus never spoke of homosexuality or abortion, and his only remarks on marriage were a condemnation of divorce (now commonplace among American Christians) and forgiveness for adultery. The family? He disowned his parents in public as a teen, and told his followers to abandon theirs if they wanted to follow him. Sex? He was a celibate who, along with his followers, anticipated an imminent End of the World where reproduction was completely irrelevant.

The Crisis of Our Time

All of which is to say something so obvious it is almost taboo: Christianity itself is in crisis. It seems no accident to me that so many Christians now embrace materialist self-help rather than ascetic self-denial—or that most Catholics, even regular churchgoers, have tuned out the hierarchy in embarrassment or disgust. Given this crisis, it is no surprise that the fastest-growing segment of belief among the young is atheism, which has leapt in popularity in the new millennium. Nor is it a shock that so many have turned away from organized Christianity and toward “spirituality,” co-opting or adapting the practices of meditation or yoga, or wandering as lapsed Catholics in an inquisitive spiritual desert. The thirst for God is still there. How could it not be, when the profoundest human questions—Why does the universe exist rather than nothing? How did humanity come to be on this remote blue speck of a planet? What happens to us after death?—remain as pressing and mysterious as they’ve always been?

That’s why polls show a huge majority of Americans still believing in a Higher Power. But the need for new questioning—of Christian institutions as well as ideas and priorities—is as real as the crisis is deep.

Back to Jesus

Where to start? Jefferson’s act of cutting out those parts of the Bible that offended his moral and scientific imagination is one approach. But another can be found in the life of a well-to-do son of a fabric trader in 12th-century Italy who went off to fight a war with a neighboring city, saw his friends killed in battle in front of him, lived a year as a prisoner of war, and then experienced a clarifying vision that changed the world. In Francis of Assisi: A New Biography, Augustine Thompson cuts through the legends and apocryphal prayers to describe Saint Francis as he truly lived. Gone are the fashionable stories of an erstwhile hippie, communing with flowers and animals. Instead we have this typical young secular figure who suddenly found peace in service to those he previously shrank from: lepers, whose sores and lesions he tended to and whose company he sought—as much as for himself as for them.

The religious order that goes by his name began quite simply with a couple of friends who were captured by the sheer spiritual intensity of how Francis lived. His inspiration was even purer than Jefferson’s. He did not cut out passages of the Gospels to render them more reasonable than they appear to the modern mind. He simply opened the Gospels at random—as was often the custom at the time—and found three passages. They told him to “sell what you have and give to the poor,” to “take nothing for your journey,” not even a second tunic, and to “deny himself” and follow the path of Jesus. That was it. So Francis renounced his inheritance, becoming homeless and earning food by manual labor. When that wouldn’t feed him, he begged, just for food—with the indignity of begging part of his spiritual humbling.

Jefferson cut the “diamonds” of Christ’s teaching out of the “dunghill” of the New Testament., Hugh Talman / Smithsonian National Museum of American History

Francis insisted on living utterly without power over others. As stories of his strangeness and holiness spread, more joined him and he faced a real dilemma: how to lead a group of men, and also some women, in an organization. Suddenly, faith met politics. And it tormented, wracked, and almost killed him. He had to be last, not first. He wanted to be always the “lesser brother,” not the founder of an order. And so he would often go on pilgrimages and ask others to run things. Or he would sit at the feet of his brothers at communal meetings and if an issue could not be resolved without his say-so, he would whisper in the leader’s ear.

A Vision of Holiness

As Jesus was without politics, so was Francis. As Jesus fled from crowds, so did Francis—often to bare shacks in woodlands, to pray and be with God and nature. It’s critical to recall that he did not do this in rebellion against orthodoxy or even church authority. He obeyed orders from bishops and even the pope himself. His main obsession wasn’t nature, which came to sublime fruition in his final “Canticle of the Sun,” but the cleanliness of the cloths, chalices, and ornaments surrounding the holy eucharist.

His revulsion at even the hint of comfort or wealth could be extreme. As he lay dying and was offered a pillow to rest on, he slept through the night only to wake the next day in a rage, hitting the monk who had given him the pillow and recoiling in disgust at his own weakness in accepting its balm. One of his few commands was that his brothers never ride a horse; they had to walk or ride a donkey. What inspired his fellow Christians to rebuild and reform the church in his day was simply his own example of humility, service, and sanctity.

A modern person would see such a man as crazy, and there were many at the time who thought so too. He sang sermons in the streets, sometimes just miming them. He suffered intense bouts of doubt, self-loathing, and depression. He had visions. You could have diagnosed his postwar conversion as an outgrowth of posttraumatic-stress disorder. Or you can simply observe what those around him testified to: something special, unique, mysterious, holy. To reduce one’s life to essentials, to ask merely for daily bread, forgiveness of others, and denial of self is, in many ways, a form of madness. It is also a form of liberation. It lets go of complexity and focuses on simplicity. Francis did not found an order designed to think or control. He insisted on the simplicity of manual labor, prayer, and the sacraments. That was enough for him.

Learning How to Live

It wouldn’t be enough for most of us. And yet, there can be wisdom in the acceptance of mystery. I’ve pondered the Incarnation my whole life. I’ve read theology and history. I think I grasp what it means to be both God and human—but I don’t think my understanding is any richer than my Irish grandmother’s. Barely literate, she would lose herself in the rosary at mass. In her simplicity, beneath her veil in front of a cascade of flickering candles, she seemed to know God more deeply than I, with all my education and privilege, ever will.

This doesn’t imply, as some claim, the privatization of faith, or its relegation to a subordinate sphere. There are times when great injustices—slavery, imperialism, totalitarianism, segregation—require spiritual mobilization and public witness. But from Gandhi to King, the greatest examples of these movements renounce power as well. They embrace nonviolence as a moral example, and that paradox changes the world more than politics or violence ever can or will. When politics is necessary, as it is, the kind of Christianity I am describing seeks always to translate religious truths into reasoned, secular arguments that can appeal to those of other faiths and none at all. But it also means, at times, renouncing Caesar in favor of the Christ to whom Jefferson, Francis, my grandmother, and countless generations of believers have selflessly devoted themselves.

The saints, after all, became known as saints not because of their success in fighting political battles, or winning a few news cycles, or funding an anti-abortion super PAC. They were saints purely and simply because of the way they lived. And this, of course, was Jefferson’s deeply American insight: “No man can conform his faith to the dictates of another. The life and essence of religion consists in the internal persuasion or belief of the mind.”

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Jefferson feared that the alternative to a Christianity founded on “internal persuasion” was a revival of the brutal, bloody wars of religion that America was founded to escape. And what he grasped in his sacrilegious mutilation of a sacred text was the core simplicity of Jesus’ message of renunciation. He believed that stripped of the doctrines of the Incarnation, Resurrection, and the various miracles, the message of Jesus was the deepest miracle. And that it was radically simple. It was explained in stories, parables, and metaphors—not theological doctrines of immense complexity. It was proven by his willingness to submit himself to an unjustified execution. The cross itself was not the point; nor was the intense physical suffering he endured. The point was how he conducted himself through it all—calm, loving, accepting, radically surrendering even the basic control of his own body and telling us that this was what it means to truly transcend our world and be with God. Jesus, like Francis, was a homeless person, as were his closest followers. He possessed nothing—and thereby everything.

Christianity Resurrected

I have no concrete idea how Christianity will wrestle free of its current crisis, of its distractions and temptations, and above all its enmeshment with the things of this world. But I do know it won’t happen by even more furious denunciations of others, by focusing on politics rather than prayer, by concerning ourselves with the sex lives and heretical thoughts of others rather than with the constant struggle to liberate ourselves from what keeps us from God. What Jefferson saw in Jesus of Nazareth was utterly compatible with reason and with the future; what Saint Francis trusted in was the simple, terrifying love of God for Creation itself. That never ends.

This Christianity comes not from the head or the gut, but from the soul. It is as meek as it is quietly liberating. It does not seize the moment; it lets it be. It doesn’t seek worldly recognition, or success, and it flees from power and wealth. It is the religion of unachievement. And it is not afraid. In the anxious, crammed lives of our modern twittering souls, in the materialist obsessions we cling to for security in recession, in a world where sectarian extremism threatens to unleash mass destruction, this sheer Christianity, seeking truth without the expectation of resolution, simply living each day doing what we can to fulfill God’s will, is more vital than ever. It may, in fact, be the only spiritual transformation that can in the end transcend the nagging emptiness of our late-capitalist lives, or the cult of distracting contemporaneity, or the threat of apocalyptic war where Jesus once walked. You see attempts to find this everywhere—from experimental spirituality to resurgent fundamentalism. Something inside is telling us we need radical spiritual change.

But the essence of this change has been with us, and defining our own civilization, for two millennia. And one day soon, when politics and doctrine and pride recede, it will rise again.